What would you do if you weren't spending all your time on what you think you should do? What are your shoulds and where do they came from?
At the most basic level, shoulds come from what allowed us to thrive and develop as a species. They stem from rules and expectations passed down from parents to kids so each generation didn't have to discover that going to the river at dusk was a good way to be eaten by an alligator, or that this plant made you strong and this one made you sick.
Getting eaten or eating the wrong plant is now much less of a threat, but the power of cultural rules and norms live on. They have become ways of thinking and being that are seen as absolute. My way is right, your way is wrong. This is how to dress, this is who and how to worship, and these ways are not. This is how women or men or kids should act. Our people are superior to your people. Many of these rules may still serve us, but many don’t, and many that don’t do unneeded harm to others and ourselves.
The hardest thing to do is discover the rules that run your life without you even realizing it. To start, ask why you feel or think that something you are doing, feeling or thinking is right or wrong. Do you hear someone else telling you to be a certain way or that you have to do or accomplish something? Do you have no idea why you are doing, feeling, or thinking as you habitually do? Have you simply always done, thought and felt like this? If the answer is yes to any of the above, you have probably uncovered a should in your life.
Uncovering the shoulds makes it much easier to see what you would and could do, and to start doing it, but it can be hard to do by yourself. The problem is like the old adage of seeing the forest for the trees - when you're deep inside a life of shoulds, imaging what you could do is tough. Seeing new possibilities, what you could do, is a lot easier in conversation with another. To schedule a free and life changing conversation about the shoulds and coulds in your life, or any other life change, go to my online calendar and book an appointment right now. We can do this!